


This Love is Brave and Wild

by Signsofsam



Series: I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends To This) [23]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Feels, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Slice of Life, this author has regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27067147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signsofsam/pseuds/Signsofsam
Summary: “You know you don’t have to do this now.” Buck says from the doorway, smiling softly when Eddie looks up at him, his eyes lost and sad. His phone is in his lap, and he had been staring at it, as if trying to work up courage.“I want to, I’m just...I don’t know how he’ll react, you know?” Eddie whispers. “But I don’t want to hide you, or us. You don’t deserve that.”“Eddie, this isn’t about what I deserve, it’s about what you’re comfortable with. Tell your dad, don’t...it doesn’t matter to me, because I remember how hard and gut-wrenching it is, the pit in your stomach that you just know he’s going to be disappointed. So you go at your pace, and I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends To This) [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584202
Comments: 9
Kudos: 244
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	This Love is Brave and Wild

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from _State of Grace_ by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Y'all, I'm a bit nervous about this story, because as a straight woman, I've never had to do anything like coming out to anyone, and I just hope I did it justice. 
> 
> Also, Eddie's dad in this is probably a bit OOC, but I need Eddie's parents to be nice since Buck's are such a-holes in this 'verse.

“You know you don’t have to do this now.” Buck says from the doorway, smiling softly when Eddie looks up at him, his eyes lost and sad. His phone is in his lap, and he had been staring at it, as if trying to work up courage. Buck sits close to his boyfriend, reaching over to squeeze his forearm, pressing his forehead against the side of Eddie’s, if only to feel the tension in Eddie melt. “You don’t have to tell anyone until you’re ready.”

“I want to, I’m just...I don’t know how he’ll react, you know?” Eddie whispers. “But I don’t want to hide you, or us. You don’t deserve that.”

“Eddie, this isn’t about what I deserve, it’s about what you’re comfortable with. Tell your dad, don’t...it doesn’t matter to me, because I remember how hard and gut-wrenching it is, the pit in your stomach that you just know he’s going to be disappointed. So you go at your pace, and I’ll be by your side no matter what.” 

Eddie turns to kiss him, soft, easy, a _thank you for being with me_ and an _I love you_. Buck wants to deepen the kiss, to get lost in Eddie and help his boyfriend forget, but it’s not what Eddie needs right now; Eddie needs supportive boyfriend Buck, and he refuses to be anything but that. 

He refuses to let Eddie go through this alone.

With a heavy sigh, Eddie unlocks his phone, thumbing through his contacts until he comes to his father’s picture.

He presses on it before he can talk himself out of taking the leap, because deep down (and honestly, right on the surface, too), he doesn’t _want_ to back out.

“Eddito!”

His father sounds so excited. “Hey, Dad.”

“Are you okay? You sound upset? Do I need to get your mother? Helene, Edmundo is on the-”

“Dad, I wanted to talk to you,” Eddie cuts in, and he can just see his father furrow his brow, even all the way in Texas. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure? Christopher is fine?”

And Christ, why does his father always have to think the worst? Why does he always assume that Eddie can’t handle things, that he can’t be a father? Why do their conversations _always_ seem to start with this same, tired fight? “Yes, Dad; I can, in fact, take care of my kid. I know I was horrible at first, but thanks for the vote of confidence that I somehow haven’t grown into the role.”

 _Shit, shit, shit_. This is exactly how Eddie didn’t want their phone call to go; telling his father about Buck--about being in love with Buck--was already going to be hard enough; why did he always take his father’s bait? Why couldn’t he-

Buck takes the hand Eddie’s tightened into his thigh--squeezing so hard his knuckles are white--in both of his hands, cupping it like it, like Eddie, is something precious, and brings it up to his lips, pressing the softest, barest hint of a kiss to his middle knuckle. His eyes are on Eddie the whole time, and they’re saying _I love you_ and _you can do this_ , and the tempest of annoyance and tension that’d begun swirling calms again. “Dad, I-”

“I didn’t mean to question your parenting abilities, Edmundo,” Ramon says, quiet and rueful, and Eddie-he’s stunned. “You are a wonderful father, _mijo_ , I just worry with you and Chris being so far away. I will always worry.”

It’s as much of an apology as he’s ever gotten, and he clings to it, as he starts, clings to the love his father has for both him and Chris.

Takes a deep breath, in, then out.

“I met someone, Dad.”

There’s a pause on the other end, and then...laughing? 

Yep, it’s most definitely his father’s laugh.

“Dad-”

“All that build-up over a girl, _mijo_? Why would you be so nervous about that? What’s her name? Where did you meet her? Have you told your Abuela and Pepa yet? Is she-”

“It’s not a woman, Dad.”

Silence.

It’s deafening, and long, drawn out, and Eddie--should he ask if his Dad is still there? What is he supposed to do in this situation?--the anxiety is beginning to claw its way back out, begins to squeeze at his heart. “Dad? Please? Please say-”

“You...are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I like men, just as much as I like women, okay? Or maybe it’s just Buck, I don’t know, but I like him. I’m in a relationship with him.”

“Buck...your coworker? The tall one who saved-”

“Yes, Dad, the one saved Chris in the tsunami. We’ve been dating awhile now, and it’s serious, and...and I wanted my family to know. I want _you_ to know.”

More silence, and Eddie’s heart is breaking, because what if his father decides this is too much? What if his father can’t accept him, and Buck, and _them_? Eddie and his father clash a lot, because they are so similar in so many ways, but Eddie...Eddie doesn’t want to come to a point in his life where he can’t count on his father to have his back. Eddie doesn’t want to think about what that would be like, how he’d explain it Christopher why he can no longer talk to his Abuelo, and-

“Edmundo?”

His name is sharp, and he winces. “I’m here, Dad.”

“And this..this Buck--what sort of name is that?--your Buck? You-”

“I love him, Dad. I thought I loved Shannon, I really did. But this, what I have with him? This is love, Dad, and I know it’s not quite what you expected, because it’s not what I expected either, but it _feels_ right.”

Beside him, Buck gasps, because though they’ve said those words to each other, they haven’t said them in front of others, and it’s a surprise, Eddie doing it first; Buck is the more expressive of the two. He leans his forehead against Eddie’s shoulder, still anchoring Eddie to him with their clasped hands, and in this moment, like in so many recently (and even not so recently, if Eddie’s being honest with himself), their relationship feels like forever.

“Eddie, I’m going to say something, and I want you to listen, okay? _Quiero que me escuches_.” 

It’s cold water over the rush of happiness from just a moment before, reality coming back. Eddie braces himself, feels Buck tighten his grip on his hand, and he lets out a breath, preparing himself. 

No matter what, he can do this. Buck is by his side, and his family is going to know, and _he can do this_.

“I’m listening, Dad.”

“ _Mijo_ , I love you. I will always, always love you. And that doesn’t change if you love Shannon or Buck or whoever. _Estoy feliz cuando tú estás feliz_ , and if you are happy with your Buck, then I am happy for you, and I can’t wait to meet him properly, as your boyfriend.”

Silence fills the air again, as Eddie processes his father’s words. He’d been expecting the worst, or at best casual indifference, but this complete and utter acceptance? He never thought in a million years he’d get that. 

“You-you mean that?” He knows--he _knows_ \--if he looks at Buck right now, his boyfriend is going to be rolling his eyes at him, but he just...he needs that assurance, just one more time.

Ramon chuckles. “Eddie, you’re my son, and I know we don’t always get along, and Lord knows how much of that is my fault...but no matter what, I will always love you. I loved you since before you were even here, just a picture in our hands; nothing you can say will stop me from loving you. I am always proud that you are my son. Maybe just a little prouder than ever today. As long as your Buck--and really, Eddito, we need to talk about that name--loves you and Chris as much as you love him, then I am forever grateful for him, and I’m so happy that you found him.”

“I do, Mr. Diaz. I love them both very much,” Buck says, just loud enough for Ramon to hear. Eddie grins at him, and he smiles back. “And I promise, Buck’s just a nickname. Not even my parents are that cruel.” There’s a twinge of sadness, because both of them know how Buck’s parents took his own coming out, and they were cruel, but this is a happy moment, and Buck is determined to bask in it. He gives Eddie one last, soft kiss, murmuring, “I think you’ve got this from here,” as he stands, heading out to the living room to where Chris is watching cartoons.

Eddie stays on the phone for a while longer, but he’s lighter as he comes out of the bedroom, happier, and he hands the phone off to Chris, who eagerly takes it, starting off into a wild story about school. Buck follows Eddie to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around his waist as Eddie pulls out a drink. “You happy?” Buck murmurs, pressing a kiss to the back of Eddie’s neck.

“They’re so excited to meet you, and you’re here with me. I’m so, so happy,” Eddie answers, and Buck can feel Eddie’s smile, even if he can’t see it.

**Author's Note:**

> That ending tho😶
> 
> This story was _rough_ to write, but mostly because I've deleted and changed it about six times. Like, what I ended with wasn't even a thought when I began writing like 3 weeks ago.
> 
> Translations (and as always, my source is Google Translate, so please let me know if it's wrong!):
> 
>  _Quiero que me escuches._ \-->I want you to hear me.  
>  _Estoy feliz cuando tú estás feliz_ \-->I'm happy when you're happy.
> 
> Thanks in advance for all the comments/kudos, and if you want, come follow me [here](https://signsofsam.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


End file.
